Today it was a big day for me. I went for shopping for the very first time. This may sound lame though—but yes! It’s true. I am not a sort of typical girl who loves shopping, in fact in my whole life, I remember I’ve gone only once for shopping with Amma Abba & that was actually an adventurous experience. Else the credit for my shopping goes to my younger sister and Amma since from the day I’ve born. Nonetheless, it doesn’t end over here, after shopping it was a family dinner eh! & the speciality of that dinner was that I was the one at the host end and that too for the first time without mum's support. And today I can see my people wearing these sweet smiles and the best part is that I am the reason behind it. Yes! I’ve got my first salary today.
The feelings are actually very delicious, mesmerising and sweet—trust me. Actually it is giving me a sensation that I might have grown up now—though I know I am not lol I am wondering that how a small amount of money needs this much struggle and hard work that I’ve never imagined, that I would be able to do, but it has paid it off in the form of these smiles around me.
Most of the people who are close to me are well-aware of this fact that there is a brat child hidden somewhere inside me. And that child is the most rebellious, irritating (most of the time) rude, moody, and as childish as it can be. But, it is the power and stamina of my people who are bearing me since 1991. And I actually salute their stamina. I’ve always found abba, protecting me for my every single “ulti harkat” he is my strength & so far the only person on earth who understands me exactly what I am! On the other hand besides being the eldest daughter, by far I am considered as the youngest one for my mother.
A month back I had never even imagined that this day would ever come into my life. I didn't plan it. But it was the undying effort of a great friend who has forced me to reach here. Because according to him I’ve got this overflow of emotions every now and then & I can be a writer. Else, I mean c'mon—writer? Me? Noah! (As I’ve got this perception that I am born to be a social worker & so far it is my passion too). Even when I’ve gotten that interview call my reply was hey I am busy ill call you back in a short while. & the person on call was like emmm...o k e y...It was just like in other sense, hey dude I am the great social worker why don't you just take an appointment to hire me in your company lol but anyhow with the blessing of God & not to forget with the support of my dear friend ive got this job & I was literally flying in the seventh sky that day.
But but but when I’ve got to see my work I was like ewww! What is this? As the topics I’ve to write about, even the relatives of those topics don’t have any relation with emotions. Lol initially I tried to quit that idea of being a writer as it was getting way too hectic and tough for me. My family & friends, everyone around wants me to quit this job as there is another life I run beside the role of a writer that I am playing. The life which consists of roles of daughter, a friend, a student, a counselor and above all a social worker.
Every one has their own fears and being a human I also have mine. And the biggest fear is fear of rejection though once upon a time it was fear of neglection lol. But on a serious note, Alhamdulillah I’ve never got to face this fear in it’s swear form but when I’ve got to face it, Emm...It has actually broken me into pieces. Though I held it inside, I can't tell this & I won't share it with anyone as well. But all those of you, who is continually forcing me and asking me that why am I getting this much insane at my own self? Alhamdulillah I've been blessed by everything by God then what is that particular need of doing a job? What is the reason behind working this hard? & what is that particular point which has even let me compromise/sacrifice on my sleep as well? I just want to say to all of them, LET ME DO IT! I know you people love me like anything and I just cannot thank you for all for what you have given me but a single “thought” will not let me put a break to insanity until I will not make me reach myself to a position where that “thought” will stop making faces to me. This is a fight with someone inside me—a fight which is to tell & to prove that how non-materialistic people & emotions can win the hearts & rule the world. This is what you won't understand yet. But this first “pay” knows it all this little amount of money knows the whole story & it has satisfied my ego today.
I want to thank all of you for always being there each and every friend, specially Umair for being a guardian angel & making me reach here, every teacher preacher and guider, Amma Abba and the whole family I am nothing without your support and love and I actually mean this because those of you who are bearing me since long times, knows it very well that how rebellious idiot and insane kind of girl I am. My girlies MACHAN, KUKRI, CHIKNIE, DULHAN, LAILA, DHANO, GOLA & rest of the crew, it is nothing but your undying efforts behind my normal state of mind and I love you guys to death..!
& last but not the least there is one person to whom I want to thank from the core of my heart Mr. Usama Imtiaz. Like seriously, if he was not there to guide me at every step I would have not been able to get this big smile on my face which I am wearing today. However, I didn’t leave any stone unturned to get mad at him & though I’ve shown him my batameeez Wali side as much as I could, beside of the fact that it was my fault as always, but still the way he dealt with my every single “ghabala” or mess is highly appreciable. I just can't stop thanking him for this and in addition, unintentionally he has made me learn many ethical values as well. So, in a nut shell I am actually very impressed with my BOSS ;)