Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Pretense & Hypocrisy

The other day I was talking to someone who is probably one of those few important people in my life who have got a very special place in my heart just because of their incredibly beautiful personality. Anyhow, I had to cut the line and call back due to some out reasons. I was about to redial when I heard the Maghrib azan and I thought I should better wait  till the azan is over. Meanwhile I got a text message by that person saying “Let's wait for the azan first!”. When I called back soon after the azan was over, my call has been disconnected on the first ring by that person. I got the call after a few minutes, & the person goes like “Sorry, I was praying.”
I forgot to mention above that I’m actually a huge fan of the person being discussed above, so much so that I try to be exactly like this person and it’s my utmost desire by far to adopt every single positive trait of this adorable creature. Whilst having the wish to be like this saint I try to copy some of the acts being performed or done by this compassionate & intuitive being around me. When I heard; “Sorry I was praying”, my sense of imitating arouse somewhere deep inside and I thought that I should start praying as well. The other day I started doing it! I offered my Fajr salah and successfully took it to zuhar, asar & maghrib (not to forget those were only the farz I’d offered). While I was doing it, I keep telling that person unintentionally by the way, that I’m praying. As If I’ve been successfully achieving a great obligation!

 What happened next? I didn’t get time to offer Isha. And then my sense of imitating slept for not waking up for an unknown time limit. I stopped praying. I didn’t get time for my prayers the very next day and until now I haven’t offered a single prayer. But then I thought what exactly is this? This is exactly what you called pretentiousness and hypocrisy? Then Iblees came over and I found myself giving justifications to my own self; Maybe it’s not what they called hypocrisy! Because I heard someone saying that your mouth starts watering as soon as you hear the name of chocolate lava cake, then how come it is possible that you keep saying Allah Allah Allah and your heart won’t melt. So perhaps I was practicing it that either my prayers are without devotion and sincerity but there is at least a desire to get them straight and up to the mark!

It wasn't enough to please myself. I started evaluating myself & then I found that it’s not me. I’m a hypocrite. This is not the real version of me and I’ve lost myself being someone who I’m not! I started looking inside to see where the real one is sitting but all I could see was the ugly face of a hypocrite who have been trying to be a colorful balloon to please people but it contains nothing but the air inside. I realized that I’ve been doing it for so long now to get attention. I’m pretending. God! I try to be nice when I don’t want to. I try to sound good suppressing the paindu side of me. I try to make sense when all I can talk about is the nonsense stuff. And I try to talk about the one who knows it all when I don’t even  feel like fulfilling the basic rules/duties/obligations to prove my love for Him.
That very moment I talked to a friend of mine who is another beautiful person. I asked her, can we be the one which we pretend to be? She laughed and said this life is based on pretense, what else we could do? Then she said; Haven't you had enough of pretentiousness? Of people in love with their own voices? Of people gaining knowledge to convince others of their intellect and to their viewpoint? Of poverty of the minds and the spirit? Of curiosity that has begun to rot? Of people criticizing everything else other than themselves? Of people never peeling off their masks, to see the mixture of ugliness and beauty that is stitched inside them? Anyway, the concept running around inside for this was, basically nothing to start off with. Then a face appeared, and a necklace of tears, and unnecessary complexity began to form in the surroundings.
I got my answers. She made it all clear. I asked myself what are you afraid of? Rejection? Your greatest fear? So what if people will start rejecting you for who you really are? What if people will leave you for you’re a paindu and miss-fit? What’s the big deal? He will be there—Always! He has been there all those times when you heard the azan and didn’t bow down. He has borne you beside the fact that you’re never thankful for what He’s blessed you with. At that moment I decided to put the mask off and start being myself. This indeed was a difficult task for me. But I did it successfully. Now, I can at least say that I’m not a hypocrite for the time being because I’m doing things which I want to. I’m out of the pretense. I just burst that colorful balloon and get myself free from all those shallow ways that leads me towards the approval of others. Now all I want is the approval of my own self and the one who has been there for me. I don’t want to awe people anymore. I want to be ME and in this journey to be my own self I’m desperately waiting for that voice that will come from inside to bow down before the one whose approval is the eventual goal for each one of us!

Friday, 15 November 2013

When Love takes you towards submission.

There is no doubt that the Karbala incidence is the most heartbreaking, tragic and poignant occurrence in the history of Islam. It was when the followers of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) committed genocide against the descendants of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW). This event always arouses strong sensations and thrill somewhere deep inside which just touch and alter the whole existence of those who seek to find light through it.
In a nutshell, Karbala possesses lots of teachings and miracles in it. It is an example leading towards the right path for those who have a sense of deep intellectual thoughts within them. However, the fact of the matter is, the significance of this incidence is beyond any faculty of intellect. No matter how hard we’ll try we would never be able to reach that point where the love of Hussain (R.A) for his grandfather (SAWW) and his creator killed the recklessness of the masses. Let’s just see this event as an example of LOVE—Eternal Love!

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said: "Surely there
Exists in the hearts of the believers, with respect to the martyrdom of Hussain,
a heart that never subsides."

Imam Hussain (RA) sacrificed his family members including the infants to the 70 years old elderly ones. Despite the miseries and particularly thirst of three consecutive days they refused to take oath of faithfulness for a cruel and incompetent leader. They did not surrender or bow down in front of the incapable Khalifa for mercy. Hussain (R.A) could easily find a way out by taking the oath of allegiance to get him and his family out of the  miseries, but his nonparallel steadfastness made him choose the path of ‘dignity’. Eventually, he decided to stand firm till the end.
Imam Hussain changed the itinerary of what has been happening in the past and set up an example to inspire all those who are seeking the path of rightness and legitimacy. He knew that his family including the BIBIES were weighted down by Yazidees, he thanked God for He has chosen him for the great sacrifice. He never complained to his creator even when the streets of the city were whispering pain and yearning the jolt of Hussain (RA). He did not express a single word of grievance despite of all calamities and afflictions around him.
What was it which made Him sacrificed everything?—it was Love, endless love for his grandfather. The love for his creator. They say,
Tery ishq mei jo bhi doob gaya usey duniya ki lay sey darna kya!

Can you imagine, being surrounded by swords, cadavers all around and the BLOOD of his children, his very own family members, Imam Hussain did not refuse to bow down before his creator. Just close your eyes and try to create the scenario in front of you and then imagine Hussain (RA) bowing down in front of Him. Thanking Him in that pain!. That physical pain, that pain of losing everything, those endless separation, did not make him show any slackness in offering his prayers! AH! It gives me goose bumps. And what was the gift being given to him by Almighty—when he breathed his last he was in the position of prostration, offering his prayer. Wallah! This indeed is a blessing. This was a gift to Hussain by his creator.  
Woh Muhammad (SAWW) ka pyara nawasa jis ne sajdey mei garden kata lii!

There was no one and there will be no one in the history of lethal world who will get to face such calamity which was being faced by Imam Hussain (RA). He proved that his status of being a Chief of martyrdom granted to him in Jannah was not on the basis that he was the grandson of the Holy Prophet (SAWW), it was purely on the account of his patience and sacrifices for the religion of his grandfather and the love for his creator.
Sajde may sar, galay pay khanjar aur teen din ki pyaas... Aisi Namaaz phir na hui Karbala k baad!

It was the power within Hussain (RA) . The power of love. The power to save the religion from the hands of a mischievous incapable Khalifah. Power of submission. And you know what, true power resides in submission – a power that comes from within. Those who submit themselves to the divine, finds peace. And that’s the point when you’ll start hearing the voice coming somewhere from deep inside, to bow down before Him five times a day. And those who have completely submitted themselves to the divine,  says even when the swords are on their neck:

 Seek the light from karbala. Seek the light from their pains and sacrifices. Seek it—feel it! Get out of the disputes, because Hussain is for everyone. Your faith can only strengthen when you’ll get soften from inside.
 Shams Tabraiz (RA) defines it in one of his forty rules as:
“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.”