Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Love, Lust or infatuation? Purity of Pure Love!

Love is a feeling which can change your life all of a sudden, a very common & frequently used sentence it is. Let's just be more specific over here & talk all about the love that has forced Romeo to fall for Juliet, that has forced Edward Cullen to get control on all his vampires desires for Bella Swan (quite a lame one!). The love of Cleopatra and Mark Antony. The love of shuzika and Nobita and the list goes on and on.

The common perception about LOVE is that it is a feeling that starts giving you goose bumps once you see your crush or beloved around. And sometimes it’s just a single thought of your loved one that generates a sensation in you which allows you to feel comfortable, safe and flying high, yes high above the skies!
I don’t believe that there is someone around in this era, which is not aware of the enchantment and the attraction of love. Even a student of standard four feels himself falling for the little girl who sits behind her in the classroom. People living in mad house known as retards have loved someone in their life at least for once. The love of the wife of his husband is one of the purest examples of this enchanting sensation. Handicapped have found himself falling for the pretty lady who come to visit his father in disability center. The man sitting on the roadside is in love with the most pretty lady of his life. Even the vulnerable population who does not have a single penny in their pocket, love someone with all their heart and soul. The purpose of mentioning these examples is to elaborate the phrase that 'love is in the air'. Love is everywhere. You cannot jib the idea of falling in love even if you try as hard as you can NO! You cannot run away you cannot escape from the charisma of this captivating and alluring feeling. In other words, love is deep-rooted it human nature. You cannot deny it at any cost.

Do you Love or Love makes you love it?
Here the question arises, either you fall in love at your own without any compulsion from outer or inner force? Or you just make it happen to you by forcing yourself to love anyone? A true love, a pure love is something that does not demand even a single positive point to care for someone to give all your affection to a random person who has been around for such a long time or who just stepped in your life just a moment ago. But you have got to decide here that either your love falls under the category of pure love or its just the infatuation, crush, obsession, craze or lust, maybe!

Love or infatuation?
Most of us has made an image in our mind of our ideal, for our better half and one day we see that image in reality right in front of us. And the story begins here. That person tends out to be the most adorable person having all the desirable characteristics in him. We start living on cloud nine with that person leaving the world behind.
Day, night, morning evening it's just that particular person who is around us. And one day we wake up and find that the person has stepped out of our life, taking few silent steps and leaving big scars on our life. We cry, we feel ourself unworthy, we shout we scream we become isolated and in the end we pray a lot to get that person back in ours. Time is the best healer, and you cannot stick to a point for so long in this modern age then a point comes when you lose the importance and value of that person and till the time when that person comes back to you, your charm has just ended for that particular person who once was the love of your life. So? At this point you are compelled to think that either it was even love or not? If not then what it was? It was infatuation, lust, attraction and obsession but it was not Love!

What Love is!
If loving a person caring for each other spending all the time with each other was not love then what was it? Love is a name of giving. Love is name of keep giving until you're left with your last breath. Love is the name of respecting your self-respect and giving value to your own self. Love is the name of loving a person who does not have even a single desirable trait but you have got a strong feeling of affection for that person, without expecting a single moment from that person's life. Love is the name of giving space. Love is being with friends with your beloved. Love is the name of purity. Purity of thoughts, purity of soul and purity of your feelings. Love is the name of having self-awareness. That love is what makes you negate the negative self-talk. Love is hearing the silence and understanding the smile. Love is the name of letting go and giving your beloved the freedom to be himself/herself. Love is feeling good about yourself for loving others. This love can make you love your world. This love can make you love your Creator who created you and your beloved. Love forced you to obey your Lord to serve Him in the best possible way to please Him. Love is the name of grooming yourself like the way your beloved wants. Love is having an insight of your inner and purifying your outter. You do not expect anything in return and at times you don't even reveal your feelings, yourself to your beloved you just keep loving yourself and that person like a mad. Like a sheer silence in a crowded room. Like the colors of the butterfly and just like the water that flows from the waterfalls. Love does not demand getting together, spending time, sharing problems, talking heart outs, listening jokes! Love is understanding, a silent prayer and all your ears that hear the silence of that person whom you love with all your heart.

Love is just like this water drop, and the redness is the charm, shining diamonds and sparkle of this charismatic feeling. This water drop reflects all the highness and beauty of this enchanting feeling but it is pure from all the dirt. Love is peace, love is you, love is me! 

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Life Cycle of man, eventually: Every soul shall taste death.

Every soul shall taste death. It is quite a natural phenomenon and every Muslim have got a firm believe in it. We, as a Muslim have never doubted on death. We live with the fact that our body will cease functioning and become innovative in its totality one day. We have to leave this world its glory's charms and -___ at the end of the day. Consequently, we can say that our life is a probation on this planet earth. Having said that, it is also important to understand the underlying meaning of it. Life indeed is a blessing of the Almighty. But it has been given to live it with a purpose—a purpose to bestow upon God—a purpose to worship Him and to thank Him for His blessings around us.

The life cycle of a man belonging to any religion revolves around a circle of 'creation-life-death-resurrection.' We believe it & yes we do. Either we are prepared to die or not we have to leave the world our relations our wealth, when it's time. But sometimes, it becomes really hard to understand this phenomenon of death and our creation on earth.

God keeps putting us in the examination throughout our life. Our faith has been tested through different phenomena—calamities, good things, relations, wealth! We have been put in such tests time to time and so often we don't even know it. One of the toughest exam of our life is this natural phenomenon—Death!
Death of someone close to us. Someone who has been just around us an hour before a day before or even a month before, he was talking, smiling, eating, walking. But suddenly 'death happens to him' and he's no more. All of a sudden we find him lying down with no feelings no movements no senses. What's this? This is death. Where he's gone? To his eternal place. What will happen to him now? Allah will reward him for his good deeds. Nobody on earth knows what exactly is going to happen with a soul when a man leaves the world, at least not me. It will be a bliss or either a turmoil, I cannot even say that it can depend on a man's performance because I truly believe that HE IS AL-REHMAN and these four words are enough to understand His mercy upon us.

Last month my uncle passed away. And this was the very first time when ever seen a funeral and a dead body and that too of a very closed one. Before that I was the one claiming that ive never seen a cadaverous in real. I've never been to a funeral as I've found myself quite a weak personality when it comes to such big natural phenomena. I was in a state of shock I was not admitting the fact that he's gone.
   By the time when I was understanding this natural phenomenon that how death has taken him away in front of our eyes, my aunt passed away just after four days of his death. She died of the shock, she left because she has to go after her brother to prove her love for him. For a while, I've found myself questioning Almighty that why He is putting me to such tough exams when He knows that I cannot face it. But, then all of a sudden some internal voices start explaining the natural phenomenon of death. While I was sitting in front of her dead body flashbacks start coming periodically out of the blue and they keep making me understand that how it is. She was one of the most pious lady ive ever seen in my life. And that's why God has taken her away when she was doing wuzu. And just like Allah has promised that He will give reward for our good deeds, He has fulfilled it and blessed her with an eternal peace with dignity without making her feel a single pain not even a body ache.

And now when its been a month, I've found myself having a firm believe in this name of the Almighty which is pure and contains all the blessings in it—AL-REHMAN. And now what I think is that the life of a man has been just like this water drop which can fall down anytime and the rest remains the same. So, it's better to let your drop falls down with all its purity and sanity by obeying the orders of your Lord. In the end, lets just pray for all the souls that has passed away to their eternal place. May Allah ease their affairs, bless them with Jannah & guide us towards the right path to lead a pious and simple life. (Ameen)

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Friendship—of monkey friends

Life is not a bed of roses. There are ups and downs in life and you have got to live it up on your feet no matter what. Friends are an important part of our life. Sometimes its friends who help you to get out of the toughest situations of your life even when your family has lost all their hopes. There is hell out of a difference between love and friendship. There are uncountable quotes on friendship and it is commonly said that it lasts forever.
Friends are of different types belonging from different cultures, family background and having different nature. Likewise, some friends are just like a monkey. And those who have monkey friends are so fortunate to have them in their life. Talking about this special category of friends, let me tell you here that such friends are one of the bright colors of your life. They came into your life out of nowhere and makes your life beautiful in no time. The friendship of monkey friends is just like the priceless treasure and at an initial stage of your friendship you don't have even a slightest hint of they being such an adorable being, for they have managed very well to give a lie to a statement that friends are there to understand you. No! Monkey friends fight with you, they argue as much as they can, they just give you a damn whenever you get angry but still they have got something special in them that makes you stick around them always. The friendship of monkey friends does not revolve around taking care, giving love and being around 24/7. It's a special kind of bond that they share with you. They have got a number of reasons to fight with you, they have got reasons to get mad at you and then they laugh it off to raise your wrath even more.
But you know what makes them special? It is their kind heart and the love for you that they do not show/express ever but you can feel the warmth of it. Monkey friends will support you when you need them the most. Interestingly enough, they are aware of your motives. They are aware of everything that you want. And this is the special trait of monkey friends that they do not want to expose themselves but they keep exploring you time to time.
Monkeys are the best friends
Monkey friends are a little more than best friends. They are not your spouse or a beloved but once you start loving them into your life takes a U-turn and all of a sudden you feel like everything has just changed. But, this is not the kind of love that prevails commonly in your society. It is the special kind of love that has gotten motherly affection, a father's care, a brother's anger, a sister's hankering and a beloved's sentiment.

Fortunately I have got a monkey friend in my life as well. Despite of all the fights, arguments and disputes, I affirm that you have got a special place in my life. I didn't tell you ever before but yes I do love you. I hereby confess that I love you with all my soul, with all my heart and from all ME. I love you or your ultimateness. I love you for being you, the way you are and I love you for the way WE are.

Monkey-The Down right Love
I don't want to let go of this soul sibling relationship ever! Should I add more to it? I just can't get over you after every fight, your mere existence is all to my support even when I know that you have got all the skills to come up with something that will totally crack me down and drive me crazy to slaughter you with all the powers I have, you're a special part of me. Yes monkey, its 13th and its been a year of this journey that starts from you being the poker and I being the weirdest sister ever. IMISSYOU!

Monday, 11 February 2013

Child Sexual Abuse—A frequently practiced type of child Abuse

Child Sexual Abuse—A frequently practised type of child Abuse

Child abuse refers to the term where a child is being abused through specific patterns and behaviours of parents, caregivers, teachers and other adults around. Child abuse effects on a child are sometimes way too dangerous and can easily spoil a child's personality. Before, discussing the child abuse effects on a child's life, we need to understand the different types of child abuse that prevails in our society.
Children are not born for Child Abuse

Types of Child Abuse:
Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological/mental abuse and sexual abuse are some of the common types of child abuse. Hence, such deliberate behaviours of adults or the caregivers that lead the child towards emotional disturbance and failure in life are categorised under child abuse.
Different child abuse organisations are working on this important social issue affecting many innocent lives. To highlight this social evil April is child abuse month, to join hands to promote the social emotional and physical well-being of children. A number of articles have been written based on abuse stories to highlight the child abuse effects and its prevalence in different societies especially in underdeveloped countries. So often, we heard people talking about child abuse and neglect, child molestation, child molesters but again we are hardly aware of their actual meaning and the stories behind them. This is the dilemma of our society that we are interested listening to the abuse stories but what are the consequences of them and how the victim is surviving with them, that is what most of us don't bother paying attention to.

Child Molestation—the most common type of Child Abuse:
However, child molestation is one of the commonly prevailing type of child abuse around us. Rape or Sexual touching are not the 'only' signs of child sexual abuse; oral sex, sex talk, unethical jokes with a child, showing child one's own private parts or any sexual video, image etc are all the common signs of child abuse which falls under the category of child molestation or child sexual abuse. It should be noted that more than half percentage of children who are the victim of child molestation do not disclose that they are being abused and remain unreported.

Immediate Physical Effects of child molestation:
The severity of the effects of child abuse varies from child to child depending upon many possible factors, that I will discuss later. Talking about the immediate possible physical effects after child sexual abuse, parents or caretakers of children should consider some definite physical changes in the child. Apart from changes in genital areas of the body (itching, infection, injury etc) there are other visible physical effects caused by child molestation. For instance, if a child is showing difficulty in walking, having stomach cramps, eating disorder, nausea, and other gastrointestinal disturbances then you must take a serious notice of it to investigate the actual cause behind such disturbances. Furthermore, Pain, tearing of tissues, cuts, injuries on any parts of the body for 'unknown cause' and the child is unable to explain it properly are some other effects of child sexual abuse.

Emotional effects of child molestation:
Children who are the victim of child abuse also start showing emotional disturbances that should not be ignored in any case. For example,
-Thumb Sucking
-Inappropriate behaviours (self injurious, picking behaviours, aggravated state etc)
-Speech problems
-Sleep disturbances
-Eating Disorder
innocence cannot be abused
-Academic problems
-Lack of interest and concentration
-Aggressive sexual behaviour with peers
-Lack of confidence

These are some of the signs of child sexual abuse to identify it at an early stage and to protect your child from possible severe and intense effects in adulthood that can even lead to the death of your child. .Educating your child about sexual abuse is by no means a harmful thing it can save your child from future consequences. You must give basic education about sexual abuse and try to give your children a healthy environment because every child deserve a happy and peaceful childhood.