Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Pretense & Hypocrisy

The other day I was talking to someone who is probably one of those few important people in my life who have got a very special place in my heart just because of their incredibly beautiful personality. Anyhow, I had to cut the line and call back due to some out reasons. I was about to redial when I heard the Maghrib azan and I thought I should better wait  till the azan is over. Meanwhile I got a text message by that person saying “Let's wait for the azan first!”. When I called back soon after the azan was over, my call has been disconnected on the first ring by that person. I got the call after a few minutes, & the person goes like “Sorry, I was praying.”
I forgot to mention above that I’m actually a huge fan of the person being discussed above, so much so that I try to be exactly like this person and it’s my utmost desire by far to adopt every single positive trait of this adorable creature. Whilst having the wish to be like this saint I try to copy some of the acts being performed or done by this compassionate & intuitive being around me. When I heard; “Sorry I was praying”, my sense of imitating arouse somewhere deep inside and I thought that I should start praying as well. The other day I started doing it! I offered my Fajr salah and successfully took it to zuhar, asar & maghrib (not to forget those were only the farz I’d offered). While I was doing it, I keep telling that person unintentionally by the way, that I’m praying. As If I’ve been successfully achieving a great obligation!

 What happened next? I didn’t get time to offer Isha. And then my sense of imitating slept for not waking up for an unknown time limit. I stopped praying. I didn’t get time for my prayers the very next day and until now I haven’t offered a single prayer. But then I thought what exactly is this? This is exactly what you called pretentiousness and hypocrisy? Then Iblees came over and I found myself giving justifications to my own self; Maybe it’s not what they called hypocrisy! Because I heard someone saying that your mouth starts watering as soon as you hear the name of chocolate lava cake, then how come it is possible that you keep saying Allah Allah Allah and your heart won’t melt. So perhaps I was practicing it that either my prayers are without devotion and sincerity but there is at least a desire to get them straight and up to the mark!

It wasn't enough to please myself. I started evaluating myself & then I found that it’s not me. I’m a hypocrite. This is not the real version of me and I’ve lost myself being someone who I’m not! I started looking inside to see where the real one is sitting but all I could see was the ugly face of a hypocrite who have been trying to be a colorful balloon to please people but it contains nothing but the air inside. I realized that I’ve been doing it for so long now to get attention. I’m pretending. God! I try to be nice when I don’t want to. I try to sound good suppressing the paindu side of me. I try to make sense when all I can talk about is the nonsense stuff. And I try to talk about the one who knows it all when I don’t even  feel like fulfilling the basic rules/duties/obligations to prove my love for Him.
That very moment I talked to a friend of mine who is another beautiful person. I asked her, can we be the one which we pretend to be? She laughed and said this life is based on pretense, what else we could do? Then she said; Haven't you had enough of pretentiousness? Of people in love with their own voices? Of people gaining knowledge to convince others of their intellect and to their viewpoint? Of poverty of the minds and the spirit? Of curiosity that has begun to rot? Of people criticizing everything else other than themselves? Of people never peeling off their masks, to see the mixture of ugliness and beauty that is stitched inside them? Anyway, the concept running around inside for this was, basically nothing to start off with. Then a face appeared, and a necklace of tears, and unnecessary complexity began to form in the surroundings.
I got my answers. She made it all clear. I asked myself what are you afraid of? Rejection? Your greatest fear? So what if people will start rejecting you for who you really are? What if people will leave you for you’re a paindu and miss-fit? What’s the big deal? He will be there—Always! He has been there all those times when you heard the azan and didn’t bow down. He has borne you beside the fact that you’re never thankful for what He’s blessed you with. At that moment I decided to put the mask off and start being myself. This indeed was a difficult task for me. But I did it successfully. Now, I can at least say that I’m not a hypocrite for the time being because I’m doing things which I want to. I’m out of the pretense. I just burst that colorful balloon and get myself free from all those shallow ways that leads me towards the approval of others. Now all I want is the approval of my own self and the one who has been there for me. I don’t want to awe people anymore. I want to be ME and in this journey to be my own self I’m desperately waiting for that voice that will come from inside to bow down before the one whose approval is the eventual goal for each one of us!

Friday, 15 November 2013

When Love takes you towards submission.

There is no doubt that the Karbala incidence is the most heartbreaking, tragic and poignant occurrence in the history of Islam. It was when the followers of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) committed genocide against the descendants of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW). This event always arouses strong sensations and thrill somewhere deep inside which just touch and alter the whole existence of those who seek to find light through it.
In a nutshell, Karbala possesses lots of teachings and miracles in it. It is an example leading towards the right path for those who have a sense of deep intellectual thoughts within them. However, the fact of the matter is, the significance of this incidence is beyond any faculty of intellect. No matter how hard we’ll try we would never be able to reach that point where the love of Hussain (R.A) for his grandfather (SAWW) and his creator killed the recklessness of the masses. Let’s just see this event as an example of LOVE—Eternal Love!

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said: "Surely there
Exists in the hearts of the believers, with respect to the martyrdom of Hussain,
a heart that never subsides."

Imam Hussain (RA) sacrificed his family members including the infants to the 70 years old elderly ones. Despite the miseries and particularly thirst of three consecutive days they refused to take oath of faithfulness for a cruel and incompetent leader. They did not surrender or bow down in front of the incapable Khalifa for mercy. Hussain (R.A) could easily find a way out by taking the oath of allegiance to get him and his family out of the  miseries, but his nonparallel steadfastness made him choose the path of ‘dignity’. Eventually, he decided to stand firm till the end.
Imam Hussain changed the itinerary of what has been happening in the past and set up an example to inspire all those who are seeking the path of rightness and legitimacy. He knew that his family including the BIBIES were weighted down by Yazidees, he thanked God for He has chosen him for the great sacrifice. He never complained to his creator even when the streets of the city were whispering pain and yearning the jolt of Hussain (RA). He did not express a single word of grievance despite of all calamities and afflictions around him.
What was it which made Him sacrificed everything?—it was Love, endless love for his grandfather. The love for his creator. They say,
Tery ishq mei jo bhi doob gaya usey duniya ki lay sey darna kya!

Can you imagine, being surrounded by swords, cadavers all around and the BLOOD of his children, his very own family members, Imam Hussain did not refuse to bow down before his creator. Just close your eyes and try to create the scenario in front of you and then imagine Hussain (RA) bowing down in front of Him. Thanking Him in that pain!. That physical pain, that pain of losing everything, those endless separation, did not make him show any slackness in offering his prayers! AH! It gives me goose bumps. And what was the gift being given to him by Almighty—when he breathed his last he was in the position of prostration, offering his prayer. Wallah! This indeed is a blessing. This was a gift to Hussain by his creator.  
Woh Muhammad (SAWW) ka pyara nawasa jis ne sajdey mei garden kata lii!

There was no one and there will be no one in the history of lethal world who will get to face such calamity which was being faced by Imam Hussain (RA). He proved that his status of being a Chief of martyrdom granted to him in Jannah was not on the basis that he was the grandson of the Holy Prophet (SAWW), it was purely on the account of his patience and sacrifices for the religion of his grandfather and the love for his creator.
Sajde may sar, galay pay khanjar aur teen din ki pyaas... Aisi Namaaz phir na hui Karbala k baad!

It was the power within Hussain (RA) . The power of love. The power to save the religion from the hands of a mischievous incapable Khalifah. Power of submission. And you know what, true power resides in submission – a power that comes from within. Those who submit themselves to the divine, finds peace. And that’s the point when you’ll start hearing the voice coming somewhere from deep inside, to bow down before Him five times a day. And those who have completely submitted themselves to the divine,  says even when the swords are on their neck:

 Seek the light from karbala. Seek the light from their pains and sacrifices. Seek it—feel it! Get out of the disputes, because Hussain is for everyone. Your faith can only strengthen when you’ll get soften from inside.
 Shams Tabraiz (RA) defines it in one of his forty rules as:
“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.”

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

When Dreams Become Reality And Heart Gets Broken

And then we live our dreams. We all have some. But there are some dreams which are far away from reality. Beyond the fantasies. Unrealistic approaches. Something you can only live in your dreams. And what happens when those dreams turn out to be a reality. Either it is for a Sec, for a day, for a moment or for a year. But when such unrealistic approaches turn out to be the beautiful reality you just can’t convince yourself that you’re living it. And you don’t even realize that when the time passed and those
dreams become unrealistic once again. Yes you had already lived them.
There is always someone who brings your own attention so you can change your own life. May be that’s what we both are. Miracles do happen. Someone who is probably the most annoying person you've ever met becomes the most important person you’ll ever meet. Not because they care, they love, they believe in you. Interestingly enough, just because that person tear down your walls, shake you up, tear apart your ego, hurt yourself respect and broke you into little pieces. Too painful? Noah. Thankfully, such persons come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and yes of course then leave to live their own life. Leaving you desperate. Sigh!
Heartbreaks leaves us hollow , empty from inside , something that keeps attacking us every day, every hour and every second , something that won't just go , it will stay with us , within us and captivate our souls , and the more you repel it the more it will get hold of you! Heart breaks do have the same physical effects as during an accident , it's a proven fact. But as long as you have got the strength to transform your life, heartbreaks are the blessings.
Yes, it feels like you’re being played all that time. It hurts being a toy. It hurts being ignored and taken for granted. Yes nobody cares. They don’t give value to your emotions. Your feelings. So why worry? Why keep holding on to something that just simply don’t want to come. Having someone because you want to be with them and they don’t want to be around, is more painful and miserable than a heart break other way round. Let’s heal ourselves for good and transform it from a new direction and a new start.
It happens. And it happened. You lived it. You become glad that you pulled this off together. Those few days have been heck of an amazing time. Best friends. Are we? Or may be a bit more than best friends. We’re not an example of what everybody wants. But sometimes no matter how hard you try to hold on you have to give up to save yourself, your worth your ego and your self respect. In the end, a never ending story will get an end. Because it has to end this way. And, You quit!

Monday, 15 July 2013

Taqwa-Real Essence Of Ramadan

Muslims all around the world are collecting the blessings of Ramadan these days. We, as an Ummah of our last Prophet (PBUH) commanded by Allah Almighty to follow this third pillar of Islam. In Quran Allah says;
O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint (Taqwa). (Quran 2:183)

You might have heard this Verse several times before. But what we need to understand is the underlying meaning of being self-resistant or taqwa. Taqwa is the real essence of fasting. We all are aware of the fact that fasting teaches us to sympathize with those in the world who have little to eat every day. It makes us realize the sufferings of those who are living below the poverty line. Through fasting we learn to become charitable and generous towards other fellow beings living around in poor living conditions. Some way or the other we all are aware of these blessings of Ramadan.

But the real essence of fasting is taqwa, which is far beyond than becoming self resistant. Taqwa teaches us to realize the presence of Allah around us. Taqwa makes us protect oneself from the wrath of Almighty by protecting our self from those deeds or acts that Allah forbids. It brings us closer to the creator this way. When we adopt good habits, good deeds, good manners and good speech we are automatically on the path of taqwa leading us to our creator, makes sense? Yes it does.
If we do not leaving our bad deeds, bad speech, bad manners than Allah do not want us to leave our food to eat and water to drink. Fasting is one of the most favorite acts to God. He’s commanded every nation and tribe before Muslims to fast. Therefore, it is necessary to learn the real essence of this month and try to please God in best possible ways. Allah promises immense rewards in response to our good deeds in this holy month. We cannot even imagine the spiritual and physical merits and rewards that Allah promises us.
 But to gain these rewards we must choose the right path and the right path can only be gained through giving our attention and devotion to the creator. We have to leave our laptops and cell phones in the middle of the night and spend it in the acts of Ebadah. We have to give our time to the creator instead of spending it in those acts that can only harm us in the end.

May this Ramadan lay the foundation stone to the path of taqwa and help us to become good muslims. (Ameen)

Monday, 4 March 2013

The Emergency Need Of Education

Education is the key tool of a man to conquer the battle of life. If you're educated then you have your third eye to fight the miseries and hardships of life. History tells that eduction have always been an essential part of every civilization. Before talking about the facts and pointing out some issues let me just mention this amazingly genius man who has inspired me a lot to write about this particular topic—Mr Usama Imtiaz. He has always been an inspiration due to his intellectual thoughts and of-course his charismatic personality as well. The other day I was discussing some social problems with him and we started talking about the root cause of many social problems & we ended up finding the origin of many other problems—illeteracy. He put it in an incredibly beautiful way that just in a time of five minutes I found myself convinced on a point that if we will carry out right and effective educational projects to increase the literacy rate, we will definitely get solutions to many other problems.
Let me just quote his words here;
Education is very important. Have you seen 8-9 kids of an educated person. In a typical Pakistan, these kids will never get education and will remain a burden on 20% working class of this country and this situation will remain as it is. Make education compulsory, enforce education, make this enforcement by law. Mazdoor (labourer) will have a construction business, if he does not have money he will look for other sources of finance (corporation, leases, loans etc), darzi (tailor) will have a clothing business using same sources of finance if he cannot afford, cook will have a restaurant, Maids will have a cleaning business and so on. If we enforce it, a generation will retaliate, and then the second generation will know things really change. And these ideas don't come without getting education. While I am writing this, more than 1 crore children of school age are not going to school. What will happen next. They will be a burden for this country until they find a source of earning. With their orthodox mindset and lack of education, they will do bad things in the society and overall things will go worse. So, the point is make education compulsory.”

Causes of low literacy rate
So here he explains it all. Is there any point left to tell those who keep their children away from education that how much education is important for their country and for their own future life? Literacy is important for the growth of the country and for the progress of human beings. Let me just list down the few major causes of low literacy rate of third world countries including Pakistan;
  • early marriages
  • old social values
  • lack of resources
  • poverty
  • education systems
  • unemployment
  • over population
  • child labor
  • ineffective government policies
  • mind set about literacy
  • lack of entrepreneurship
  • genetic effect

And the list goes on and on. If we don't take steps to promote education we will keep facing huge challenges in every walk of life. We will always be a deprived nation. Our children will never get enough confidence to compete with others who are superior to them in terms of education.

Effects of low literacy rate
If we look around, all those menials, slaves and workers are illiterate and uneducated they will remain be the same as lack of education has cast a deep influence on their lives and behaviors, they have admitted to continue living their life-as-a-slave. Hence, whatever you want to say it, no matter how many argument you have to keep your child far away from education, you cannot change the fact that lack of education serve the country as an inhibitor; if the literacy rate will remain low it will become more and more hard for the country to get progress. Listing down other severe and intense effects of low literacy rate and lack of education, we have;
  • inhibitor of national growth
  • gender discrimination
  • less approach to human resources
  • beggary
  • unhygienic health conditions
  • over population
  • substance abuse (high drug addiction)
  • poor living standards
  • high crime rate
  • unawareness of constitutional law
  • less approach to human resources
  • lack of awareness to human rights
  • child labor.
Remedies to increase rate of literacy
Literacy or provision of education to your children play a key role to unlock various social evils prevailing in our society. It helps to find the root cause and origins of such social evils that brings you and your fellow members of the society to troublesome and challenging situations. Thus, it is the obligatory duty of every citizen of our country to take a stand to promote high literacy rate in every possible way. High literacy rate and literate societies are correlated to the positive economic growth of a country, therefore innovative strategies and remedies should be introduced to increase the rate of literacy of our society.
Teach A Child
One of the best solution is to teach a single child in your lifetime. Teachers should educate this to those students who have the advantage to pursue education in well established institutes, that they must put their efforts to educate a single child once in their life. On the other hand it is the obligatory duty of the young citizens to promote this active step to educate the poor and deprived children around them. Other remedies include;
  • education of parents should be a must practice, to teach their children in a socially mediated way in future.
  • Awareness programs should be arranged to highlight the importance and emergency need of education.
  • Feudal system that has always been a challenging obstacle in promoting education should be eliminated from the society.
  • Better and free of cost transport facilities should be provided specifically to the students to make their access easy and reachable to the schools.
  • Abolishment of child labor
  • stability of political system
  • formal schools in rural areas
  • free education programs
We are standing at the threshold of historic challenges and the 'emergency need of education' is the key factor to eliminate various social evils from the society. Thus, each one of us, regardless of our political scenario should take a stand and pay a keen attention to promote better educational opportunities for the betterment of our country and to educate every single child of our nation.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Love, Lust or infatuation? Purity of Pure Love!

Love is a feeling which can change your life all of a sudden, a very common & frequently used sentence it is. Let's just be more specific over here & talk all about the love that has forced Romeo to fall for Juliet, that has forced Edward Cullen to get control on all his vampires desires for Bella Swan (quite a lame one!). The love of Cleopatra and Mark Antony. The love of shuzika and Nobita and the list goes on and on.

The common perception about LOVE is that it is a feeling that starts giving you goose bumps once you see your crush or beloved around. And sometimes it’s just a single thought of your loved one that generates a sensation in you which allows you to feel comfortable, safe and flying high, yes high above the skies!
I don’t believe that there is someone around in this era, which is not aware of the enchantment and the attraction of love. Even a student of standard four feels himself falling for the little girl who sits behind her in the classroom. People living in mad house known as retards have loved someone in their life at least for once. The love of the wife of his husband is one of the purest examples of this enchanting sensation. Handicapped have found himself falling for the pretty lady who come to visit his father in disability center. The man sitting on the roadside is in love with the most pretty lady of his life. Even the vulnerable population who does not have a single penny in their pocket, love someone with all their heart and soul. The purpose of mentioning these examples is to elaborate the phrase that 'love is in the air'. Love is everywhere. You cannot jib the idea of falling in love even if you try as hard as you can NO! You cannot run away you cannot escape from the charisma of this captivating and alluring feeling. In other words, love is deep-rooted it human nature. You cannot deny it at any cost.

Do you Love or Love makes you love it?
Here the question arises, either you fall in love at your own without any compulsion from outer or inner force? Or you just make it happen to you by forcing yourself to love anyone? A true love, a pure love is something that does not demand even a single positive point to care for someone to give all your affection to a random person who has been around for such a long time or who just stepped in your life just a moment ago. But you have got to decide here that either your love falls under the category of pure love or its just the infatuation, crush, obsession, craze or lust, maybe!

Love or infatuation?
Most of us has made an image in our mind of our ideal, for our better half and one day we see that image in reality right in front of us. And the story begins here. That person tends out to be the most adorable person having all the desirable characteristics in him. We start living on cloud nine with that person leaving the world behind.
Day, night, morning evening it's just that particular person who is around us. And one day we wake up and find that the person has stepped out of our life, taking few silent steps and leaving big scars on our life. We cry, we feel ourself unworthy, we shout we scream we become isolated and in the end we pray a lot to get that person back in ours. Time is the best healer, and you cannot stick to a point for so long in this modern age then a point comes when you lose the importance and value of that person and till the time when that person comes back to you, your charm has just ended for that particular person who once was the love of your life. So? At this point you are compelled to think that either it was even love or not? If not then what it was? It was infatuation, lust, attraction and obsession but it was not Love!

What Love is!
If loving a person caring for each other spending all the time with each other was not love then what was it? Love is a name of giving. Love is name of keep giving until you're left with your last breath. Love is the name of respecting your self-respect and giving value to your own self. Love is the name of loving a person who does not have even a single desirable trait but you have got a strong feeling of affection for that person, without expecting a single moment from that person's life. Love is the name of giving space. Love is being with friends with your beloved. Love is the name of purity. Purity of thoughts, purity of soul and purity of your feelings. Love is the name of having self-awareness. That love is what makes you negate the negative self-talk. Love is hearing the silence and understanding the smile. Love is the name of letting go and giving your beloved the freedom to be himself/herself. Love is feeling good about yourself for loving others. This love can make you love your world. This love can make you love your Creator who created you and your beloved. Love forced you to obey your Lord to serve Him in the best possible way to please Him. Love is the name of grooming yourself like the way your beloved wants. Love is having an insight of your inner and purifying your outter. You do not expect anything in return and at times you don't even reveal your feelings, yourself to your beloved you just keep loving yourself and that person like a mad. Like a sheer silence in a crowded room. Like the colors of the butterfly and just like the water that flows from the waterfalls. Love does not demand getting together, spending time, sharing problems, talking heart outs, listening jokes! Love is understanding, a silent prayer and all your ears that hear the silence of that person whom you love with all your heart.

Love is just like this water drop, and the redness is the charm, shining diamonds and sparkle of this charismatic feeling. This water drop reflects all the highness and beauty of this enchanting feeling but it is pure from all the dirt. Love is peace, love is you, love is me! 

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Life Cycle of man, eventually: Every soul shall taste death.

Every soul shall taste death. It is quite a natural phenomenon and every Muslim have got a firm believe in it. We, as a Muslim have never doubted on death. We live with the fact that our body will cease functioning and become innovative in its totality one day. We have to leave this world its glory's charms and -___ at the end of the day. Consequently, we can say that our life is a probation on this planet earth. Having said that, it is also important to understand the underlying meaning of it. Life indeed is a blessing of the Almighty. But it has been given to live it with a purpose—a purpose to bestow upon God—a purpose to worship Him and to thank Him for His blessings around us.

The life cycle of a man belonging to any religion revolves around a circle of 'creation-life-death-resurrection.' We believe it & yes we do. Either we are prepared to die or not we have to leave the world our relations our wealth, when it's time. But sometimes, it becomes really hard to understand this phenomenon of death and our creation on earth.

God keeps putting us in the examination throughout our life. Our faith has been tested through different phenomena—calamities, good things, relations, wealth! We have been put in such tests time to time and so often we don't even know it. One of the toughest exam of our life is this natural phenomenon—Death!
Death of someone close to us. Someone who has been just around us an hour before a day before or even a month before, he was talking, smiling, eating, walking. But suddenly 'death happens to him' and he's no more. All of a sudden we find him lying down with no feelings no movements no senses. What's this? This is death. Where he's gone? To his eternal place. What will happen to him now? Allah will reward him for his good deeds. Nobody on earth knows what exactly is going to happen with a soul when a man leaves the world, at least not me. It will be a bliss or either a turmoil, I cannot even say that it can depend on a man's performance because I truly believe that HE IS AL-REHMAN and these four words are enough to understand His mercy upon us.

Last month my uncle passed away. And this was the very first time when ever seen a funeral and a dead body and that too of a very closed one. Before that I was the one claiming that ive never seen a cadaverous in real. I've never been to a funeral as I've found myself quite a weak personality when it comes to such big natural phenomena. I was in a state of shock I was not admitting the fact that he's gone.
   By the time when I was understanding this natural phenomenon that how death has taken him away in front of our eyes, my aunt passed away just after four days of his death. She died of the shock, she left because she has to go after her brother to prove her love for him. For a while, I've found myself questioning Almighty that why He is putting me to such tough exams when He knows that I cannot face it. But, then all of a sudden some internal voices start explaining the natural phenomenon of death. While I was sitting in front of her dead body flashbacks start coming periodically out of the blue and they keep making me understand that how it is. She was one of the most pious lady ive ever seen in my life. And that's why God has taken her away when she was doing wuzu. And just like Allah has promised that He will give reward for our good deeds, He has fulfilled it and blessed her with an eternal peace with dignity without making her feel a single pain not even a body ache.

And now when its been a month, I've found myself having a firm believe in this name of the Almighty which is pure and contains all the blessings in it—AL-REHMAN. And now what I think is that the life of a man has been just like this water drop which can fall down anytime and the rest remains the same. So, it's better to let your drop falls down with all its purity and sanity by obeying the orders of your Lord. In the end, lets just pray for all the souls that has passed away to their eternal place. May Allah ease their affairs, bless them with Jannah & guide us towards the right path to lead a pious and simple life. (Ameen)

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Friendship—of monkey friends

Life is not a bed of roses. There are ups and downs in life and you have got to live it up on your feet no matter what. Friends are an important part of our life. Sometimes its friends who help you to get out of the toughest situations of your life even when your family has lost all their hopes. There is hell out of a difference between love and friendship. There are uncountable quotes on friendship and it is commonly said that it lasts forever.
Friends are of different types belonging from different cultures, family background and having different nature. Likewise, some friends are just like a monkey. And those who have monkey friends are so fortunate to have them in their life. Talking about this special category of friends, let me tell you here that such friends are one of the bright colors of your life. They came into your life out of nowhere and makes your life beautiful in no time. The friendship of monkey friends is just like the priceless treasure and at an initial stage of your friendship you don't have even a slightest hint of they being such an adorable being, for they have managed very well to give a lie to a statement that friends are there to understand you. No! Monkey friends fight with you, they argue as much as they can, they just give you a damn whenever you get angry but still they have got something special in them that makes you stick around them always. The friendship of monkey friends does not revolve around taking care, giving love and being around 24/7. It's a special kind of bond that they share with you. They have got a number of reasons to fight with you, they have got reasons to get mad at you and then they laugh it off to raise your wrath even more.
But you know what makes them special? It is their kind heart and the love for you that they do not show/express ever but you can feel the warmth of it. Monkey friends will support you when you need them the most. Interestingly enough, they are aware of your motives. They are aware of everything that you want. And this is the special trait of monkey friends that they do not want to expose themselves but they keep exploring you time to time.
Monkeys are the best friends
Monkey friends are a little more than best friends. They are not your spouse or a beloved but once you start loving them into your life takes a U-turn and all of a sudden you feel like everything has just changed. But, this is not the kind of love that prevails commonly in your society. It is the special kind of love that has gotten motherly affection, a father's care, a brother's anger, a sister's hankering and a beloved's sentiment.

Fortunately I have got a monkey friend in my life as well. Despite of all the fights, arguments and disputes, I affirm that you have got a special place in my life. I didn't tell you ever before but yes I do love you. I hereby confess that I love you with all my soul, with all my heart and from all ME. I love you or your ultimateness. I love you for being you, the way you are and I love you for the way WE are.

Monkey-The Down right Love
I don't want to let go of this soul sibling relationship ever! Should I add more to it? I just can't get over you after every fight, your mere existence is all to my support even when I know that you have got all the skills to come up with something that will totally crack me down and drive me crazy to slaughter you with all the powers I have, you're a special part of me. Yes monkey, its 13th and its been a year of this journey that starts from you being the poker and I being the weirdest sister ever. IMISSYOU!

Monday, 11 February 2013

Child Sexual Abuse—A frequently practiced type of child Abuse

Child Sexual Abuse—A frequently practised type of child Abuse

Child abuse refers to the term where a child is being abused through specific patterns and behaviours of parents, caregivers, teachers and other adults around. Child abuse effects on a child are sometimes way too dangerous and can easily spoil a child's personality. Before, discussing the child abuse effects on a child's life, we need to understand the different types of child abuse that prevails in our society.
Children are not born for Child Abuse

Types of Child Abuse:
Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological/mental abuse and sexual abuse are some of the common types of child abuse. Hence, such deliberate behaviours of adults or the caregivers that lead the child towards emotional disturbance and failure in life are categorised under child abuse.
Different child abuse organisations are working on this important social issue affecting many innocent lives. To highlight this social evil April is child abuse month, to join hands to promote the social emotional and physical well-being of children. A number of articles have been written based on abuse stories to highlight the child abuse effects and its prevalence in different societies especially in underdeveloped countries. So often, we heard people talking about child abuse and neglect, child molestation, child molesters but again we are hardly aware of their actual meaning and the stories behind them. This is the dilemma of our society that we are interested listening to the abuse stories but what are the consequences of them and how the victim is surviving with them, that is what most of us don't bother paying attention to.

Child Molestation—the most common type of Child Abuse:
However, child molestation is one of the commonly prevailing type of child abuse around us. Rape or Sexual touching are not the 'only' signs of child sexual abuse; oral sex, sex talk, unethical jokes with a child, showing child one's own private parts or any sexual video, image etc are all the common signs of child abuse which falls under the category of child molestation or child sexual abuse. It should be noted that more than half percentage of children who are the victim of child molestation do not disclose that they are being abused and remain unreported.

Immediate Physical Effects of child molestation:
The severity of the effects of child abuse varies from child to child depending upon many possible factors, that I will discuss later. Talking about the immediate possible physical effects after child sexual abuse, parents or caretakers of children should consider some definite physical changes in the child. Apart from changes in genital areas of the body (itching, infection, injury etc) there are other visible physical effects caused by child molestation. For instance, if a child is showing difficulty in walking, having stomach cramps, eating disorder, nausea, and other gastrointestinal disturbances then you must take a serious notice of it to investigate the actual cause behind such disturbances. Furthermore, Pain, tearing of tissues, cuts, injuries on any parts of the body for 'unknown cause' and the child is unable to explain it properly are some other effects of child sexual abuse.

Emotional effects of child molestation:
Children who are the victim of child abuse also start showing emotional disturbances that should not be ignored in any case. For example,
-Thumb Sucking
-Inappropriate behaviours (self injurious, picking behaviours, aggravated state etc)
-Speech problems
-Sleep disturbances
-Eating Disorder
innocence cannot be abused
-Academic problems
-Lack of interest and concentration
-Aggressive sexual behaviour with peers
-Lack of confidence

These are some of the signs of child sexual abuse to identify it at an early stage and to protect your child from possible severe and intense effects in adulthood that can even lead to the death of your child. .Educating your child about sexual abuse is by no means a harmful thing it can save your child from future consequences. You must give basic education about sexual abuse and try to give your children a healthy environment because every child deserve a happy and peaceful childhood.