Tuesday 26 April 2016

For Them, Its A Failure. For Her, Fantasies Fulfilled.

Social media was full of those who got their final allocation in the civil services exam for 2015. After congratulating a few of them, the one who flunked, secretly cried and that sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach, once again, went unnoticed.

....a while later an inner voice asked; Name a fantasy that is left unnoticed? Name a single utmost desire that is not fulfilled? Would you be able to get what you have now if you're among the successful candidates today?
Goosebumps replied; Hell no!

Once again the failure was secretly enjoyed by every teeny bit of her existence.   

Wednesday 14 October 2015

The sixteenth letter!

Never knew that I would ever write a letter to you. I wrote 15 of them to my previous employer. The first time I came to know who you are and to whom you belong to I got all teary. The more I was reading, the more tears were flowing down the cheeks. I was wishing that day to come to you and hug you for who you are but then Uzair stopped me. I started admiring you as a woman, as a mother as a wife and as a person. I have been secretly calling you my mentor, interestingly enough I don’t even know you in person but as much as I know about you, it is enough for me to idealize you.
You’re the only person, I repeat, only person about whom I’ve never heard any negative remarks from anyone around which explains itself that you’re an amazingly beautiful creature inside out. Your positive vibes have given me motivation to do better and to stay at SOS.
I don’t know what to say and how to put it in a better way but you’ll be terribly missed. I really do hate good-byes and overly charged sensitivity but all I could say is you’re genuinely beautiful on the inside as drop dead gorgeous you’re on the outside. I wish and pray that you’ll get everything that you desire for.  Thank you for being supportive, thank you for being who you are and thank you for being a listening ear!
                                                                                    
Maha.

Tuesday 15 September 2015

The one constant








She has stopped believing in those four letters because he doesn't believe in what they called LOVE.

Isn't the statement itself the most crazy form of love?

Wednesday 26 August 2015

From Maryam To Maryam


Okay so.. The name due to which I had to resign from my work place, my first work place—the romance, the first love of my life! The name due to which the one of the most beautiful chapters of my life came to a terrible end (& btw I still believe the chapter was that beautiful). The name, due to which all the hopelessness, hollowness, melancholy and disappointment came into my life, majestically turned into the name, which is a life savior now—Maryam!

I used to hate a person literally HATE that person named as Maryam. Interestingly enough when I joined my current organization the first person our national director introduced to me was unfortunately or probably perhaps fortunately, of the same name—Maryam! I didn’t have the slightest hint at that time that she’ll make me forget all the darkest aspects of life.

Okay without wasting time, let me roll some clichéd stuff. The first time I saw her I was like what the……. I hated myself, I hated everything else, I hated her like anything. I was questioning myself, Maryam, once again Maryam eh? Seriously, seeeeeeeriously? Err. I told myself that I’ll back off and leave this place because I have had Maryam phobia.

Within less than an hour, I AM NOT EXAGGERATING, “LESS THAN AN HOUR” we were close friends so much so that some businesswoman came to visit the department and asked for how long we know each other? and we were like since an hour, we suppose. Her facial expressions were exceptional to know that. :D

And then the very next day Maryam was my best friend. She majorly owes this world an explanation for being the cutest-lamest creature. Starting from paws to cat fights. Heart to heart sessions to some serious discussions. And how can I forget the laughter attacks and SARHI BANDHNY kay new tutorial like every other day.


The movie dates, the hunger fights, the highly illogical and dumb explanations to serious shits—I mean as if she is the prism in my life to act as a spectrum, spreading the colors all around me. WOOOOT AN EXAMPLE MAYAM!

She made me forget all my regrets and bad happenings. I wasn’t aware that she’s that special to me until that day. THAT DAY. I am going to cherish that for the rest of my life. She actually made me feel fly high above the skies. I feel myself now a teenager writing my best friend’s essay but this is how it goes.

I used to doubt if I would ever be able to write something for someone with all my heart and sincerity, but she’s magical man. Here I am telling the world that this woman is incredibly beautiful :D

I can't even begin to explain how much I value and cherish her presence in my life. Each. Every. Teeny. Bit. Maryam took everything away and she being MARYAM as well brought that back adding much more to it.

To the countless boooooootiessssss waly high-fives, my stuffed turkeys, amazing happening, gut cracking laughters and many more joys to come our way, I want to thank you for turning all the bads into goods, being my highs where were lows and for turning blues into glows. Thank you for being there, thank you for bearing the tears! You be everything to my survival, my reason to stay, to smile and to laugh like retards from nine to five. *paaaaaaaaaaaw*

Monday 3 August 2015

The Girl Whose Efforts Remained Unnoticed

She was the woman of her words. Once said, consider it done. Egoistic nerd with dirty anger. People used to get disappointed after challenging her. She was the laughing stock for everyone. Never compromising on the self-respect, she has beautifully managed to gather a pampering crew around her. Attention seeker, drama queen, magnet to troubles, machine for mood swings and what not. She was important, she was self-obsessed, a shinning diamond—A narcissist!

…& now the one who once was the woman of her words looks at the moon sometimes in the middle of the night and secretly asks the silver lining, what next!? 

Wednesday 20 August 2014

Moving on with life...

They asked how long is forever? And the answer came; until they don’t find a replacement. Uh! People leave somehow. They HAVE to. Some get sick of you, and others just don't feel like you're worth it anymore. It does not matter if you’re unable to decide either those or you're the ‘too-much –to-handle’ material.
Honestly, it’s not only you, nobody likes feeling like an annoyance, a burden, or worse, an obligation that people have to be responsible for. It hurts and it really sucks having to scream out the things you've been keeping in yourself and yet you just can’t take them out. The hollowness in your heart, the tangled mess in your mind, the aching of your soul, the four am loneliness and what not, there is too much to explain but you can’t.

Therefore, when you’ve found your mind always been in a precarious state, when you start admitting the fact that nobody is strong enough to hold you for so long, when the feeling of melancholy takes over you, this is about the time when you’ve to put everything aside and take a deep breath to admit the harsh realities. You seriously have to stop hoping for anything because it's plain stupid as it will be going to disappoint you eventually. The fear of hiding in your "cozy" shell and as the phrase goes "build walls around you" convince you to find yourself and that lost trust once again. You’ve to start living before you go to a stage where you are beyond redemption. You’ve to get in friends with the creature inside you who’s tired of deceiving, lies and the inside battles. You’ve to make your friend sleep. You just have to!

Friday 15 November 2013

When Love takes you towards submission.


There is no doubt that the Karbala incidence is the most heartbreaking, tragic and poignant occurrence in the history of Islam. It was when the followers of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) committed genocide against the descendants of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW). This event always arouses strong sensations and thrill somewhere deep inside which just touch and alter the whole existence of those who seek to find light through it.
In a nutshell, Karbala possesses lots of teachings and miracles in it. It is an example leading towards the right path for those who have a sense of deep intellectual thoughts within them. However, the fact of the matter is, the significance of this incidence is beyond any faculty of intellect. No matter how hard we’ll try we would never be able to reach that point where the love of Hussain (R.A) for his grandfather (SAWW) and his creator killed the recklessness of the masses. Let’s just see this event as an example of LOVE—Eternal Love!

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said: "Surely there
Exists in the hearts of the believers, with respect to the martyrdom of Hussain,
a heart that never subsides."



Imam Hussain (RA) sacrificed his family members including the infants to the 70 years old elderly ones. Despite the miseries and particularly thirst of three consecutive days they refused to take oath of faithfulness for a cruel and incompetent leader. They did not surrender or bow down in front of the incapable Khalifa for mercy. Hussain (R.A) could easily find a way out by taking the oath of allegiance to get him and his family out of the  miseries, but his nonparallel steadfastness made him choose the path of ‘dignity’. Eventually, he decided to stand firm till the end.
Imam Hussain changed the itinerary of what has been happening in the past and set up an example to inspire all those who are seeking the path of rightness and legitimacy. He knew that his family including the BIBIES were weighted down by Yazidees, he thanked God for He has chosen him for the great sacrifice. He never complained to his creator even when the streets of the city were whispering pain and yearning the jolt of Hussain (RA). He did not express a single word of grievance despite of all calamities and afflictions around him.
What was it which made Him sacrificed everything?—it was Love, endless love for his grandfather. The love for his creator. They say,
Tery ishq mei jo bhi doob gaya usey duniya ki lay sey darna kya!

Can you imagine, being surrounded by swords, cadavers all around and the BLOOD of his children, his very own family members, Imam Hussain did not refuse to bow down before his creator. Just close your eyes and try to create the scenario in front of you and then imagine Hussain (RA) bowing down in front of Him. Thanking Him in that pain!. That physical pain, that pain of losing everything, those endless separation, did not make him show any slackness in offering his prayers! AH! It gives me goose bumps. And what was the gift being given to him by Almighty—when he breathed his last he was in the position of prostration, offering his prayer. Wallah! This indeed is a blessing. This was a gift to Hussain by his creator.  
Woh Muhammad (SAWW) ka pyara nawasa jis ne sajdey mei garden kata lii!

There was no one and there will be no one in the history of lethal world who will get to face such calamity which was being faced by Imam Hussain (RA). He proved that his status of being a Chief of martyrdom granted to him in Jannah was not on the basis that he was the grandson of the Holy Prophet (SAWW), it was purely on the account of his patience and sacrifices for the religion of his grandfather and the love for his creator.
Sajde may sar, galay pay khanjar aur teen din ki pyaas... Aisi Namaaz phir na hui Karbala k baad!

It was the power within Hussain (RA) . The power of love. The power to save the religion from the hands of a mischievous incapable Khalifah. Power of submission. And you know what, true power resides in submission – a power that comes from within. Those who submit themselves to the divine, finds peace. And that’s the point when you’ll start hearing the voice coming somewhere from deep inside, to bow down before Him five times a day. And those who have completely submitted themselves to the divine,  says even when the swords are on their neck:
SUBHANA RABI’Al ALLA… SUBHANA RABI’Al ALLA.. SUBHANA RABI’Al ALLA

 Seek the light from karbala. Seek the light from their pains and sacrifices. Seek it—feel it! Get out of the disputes, because Hussain is for everyone. Your faith can only strengthen when you’ll get soften from inside.
 Shams Tabraiz (RA) defines it in one of his forty rules as:
“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.”